Where does my voice belong

24 + years survivor here in the house. I come from old school activism and in my opinion there needs to be more of it. We need not reinvent the wheel but more-so to learn from the ones who have went before us, ..so the past, what we are doing now and where are we going. I find so may conformist in AIDS activism and does not represent the true voice and experience of HIV/AIDS. People are living yes, but people are still dying and suffering from AIDS or related HIV conditions. All organizations want is more money and to get richer and richer while there is no accountability and the so call ed activist that exist today...not all but some , have self driven motives. I believe complacency, volunteerism and the involvement of people that are positive has dropped severely because we have lost trust in the powers that be , even the ones that say they are on our side. A lifestyle living with 50,000 or even 100, 000 verses someone on the grass roots level that is on a fixed income is a great divide, they cannot see through our eyes our struggles..greed seems to lead the way and dictate the roads in which we follow, the trends, the politically correct way. ...Wake up and see the truth, critically think and realize there is such a need to renew the flame, start accountability projects, and quit trying to make HIV/AIDS look ok. There is a balance in this fight...survival and the point where no one imagines the end or the horrible images we once viewed with our eyes that stayed and were burnt in our hearts and memories forever. Let us not forget that we have a voice and others out there need to be encouraged to come out and make a stand and everyone has a story to tell and life experience to contribute....feel, remember, chip the ice off and know it's ok to react in sadness, without our sadness or feeling our losses and remembering that although some of us are in a place of health and hope to survive others give up, isolate still and some just are tired and want to die. I know ALOT of my friends have died, like Rob below,,, 100's and funerals I can't count , and the hospital visits I can't count, and at the funerals or obituaries AIDS the big disease with the little name still get skimmed over or is silenced. Still today we want to say everything is ok and it's not. I am grateful for the 24 years I have been alive . It's been half my life living with this, but I will never compromise what is right, and what my hearts convictions lead me to do. It might not make me popular in some circles but I'd rather live with myself than selling out!